Sunday, November 11, 2012


You ever wonder why you can't resist the urge to go into McDonalds or Burger King and sink your face into that fating stuff they pass off as food. Well I just watched a movie that tried to explain it all.
BRANDED I must say has to be one of the most worst/best movies I've seen in a long time and I've seen a lot of bad movies; I have the Sci-Fi channel. Yes I know it came out earlier this year, but I just saw it.

Branded PosterIn a world blanketed by advertising the lead character in the movie Misha Galkin (portrayed by Ed Stoppard) fines that he has a knack for selling people things.  Set in Russia which in the movie is a large testing ground for international companies and their products. Misha uses his skill to sell the Russian people on everything. Not only is he an advertising executive but he is also a spy. He is recruited by Bob Gibbon portrayed by Jeffery Tambor to help sell the Russian people the crap that the west is already drowning in, burgers, soda, fast food galore, and not to mention reality TV. But he is also to spy on the up and coming companies for the good of Democracy.

Misha meets Gibbon's niece who is in Russia to produce a reality TV show much like the one we had here in America where they take some sad sack that doesn't think much of her self and have them cut her up and supposedly make her look pretty. Well in the movie the girl that they put under the knife ends up going into a coma and they have to find some schmuck to take the fall. So Misha goes to jail, but was later released thanks to the efforts of Bob. (It was Bob who had Misha put in jail in the first place since he messed with his niece).

Misha goes off the reservation and becomes a farmer. Bob's niece Anna (portrayed by LeeLee Sobieski) goes out to find Misha and see that he is a total mess and ends up leaving without him. Misha stays on the farm and has a dream about a mystical cow in the sky who tells him how to bring down big business and advertising. After murdering a cow that magically transformed from white to red (If I smoked that would have totally freaked me out). He then goes on to take the ashes of the burnt cow on pours it on himself. He staggers off naked and collapses only to wake up in Anna's car still naked may I add. That part is also kind of trippie because Anna has Misha's kid, so its like 9 -10 years has gone by.

But all is not right. When Misha wakes up he finds that he can see strange creatures attached to everyone. Each of these creates is related to a brand. Pushing people to buy, consume, and push themselves to get it and growing larger after they have consumed the product. You see this when we meet Misha's son who like the rest of the Russia public in the movie is a little fatty.

So I'm not going to tell you the whole movie. I want you to watch it because even thought I thought "man this movie kinda sucks" I also though "man they really have something here". I thought they really had something because it's so totally true that we are bombarded with ads for fast food, cosmetics, trash reality TV shows, and all kind of other products. My kid is only one and I think he's seem more fast food advertising that one add for picking up a book. Yeah sure he doesn't know what it means but that suggestion is being placed in his head from an early age saying this is what you want , this is what you desire.

All in all the movie is a total trip and it had me wondering are we really being programmed like it's suggesting? Should we be affair of all these big brands out there trying to sell us there products?
Even though the movie comes off as boring it's totally watchable and it will have you thinking and also probably looking on your back. So it gets a 6 out of 10...